Should my son or daughter come home early from their mission?

It seemed like your son or daughter couldn’t have been more prepared to leave for their mission. They diligently took mission prep, submitted their papers, and were thrilled when they received their mission call. However, after they had been in the field for a few months, you noticed something didn’t quite seem right when they call home each week. They don’t seem like themselves.

They seem hyperfocused on feelings that they aren’t a good missionary, that they aren’t worthy, and that they aren’t able to feel the spirit. They used to find joy in the Gospel, but now it seems to be the source of all their suffering. 

You want them to be able to finish serving their mission, but you can tell something is horribly wrong. Nothing you say to your missionary seems to make them feel better. You know that they have seen the mission therapist once, but you’re worried they may need more help more often. 

I often receive calls and emails from parents in this situation. They can tell that their missionary son or daughter is highly anxious, depressed, and possibly suffering from symptoms of religious OCD or scrupulosity. They want their missionary to get help but wonder if they will be able to get the help they need in the mission field.

Mission leaders do everything they can to support the mental health of their missionaries. However, missions aren’t set up to provide regular therapy services to missionaries, and mission therapists are usually not trained to provide specialized treatment for religious OCD. 

If you are concerned that your missionary is experiencing symptoms of scrupulosity, you may want to first try to work with their mission leaders to get them access to resources that may help. A few books that I recommend for missionaries in the field are Freedom from Scrupulosity, The OCD Workbook, and an interview I did that specifically address these issues on The LDS Mission Podcast.

If these resources don’t seem to be helpful and your missionary is having difficulty functioning and fulfilling their basic responsibilities, it may be time to consider returning home early. While this is obviously not the outcome anyone wants, I often suggest to families that it may be better for a missionary to return home early that to “white knuckle” it through their mission and remember it as a time when they were tortured by mental illness instead of having a life changing spiritual experience. Scrupulosity is highly treatable, but it is sometimes challenging for missionaries to get effective treatment in the mission field. 

What can you do if your missionary decides they do need to return home early? The best thing you can do to support them is ensure they are getting professional, evidence-based treatment for religious OCD. If you need help finding a provider in your area, the best place to start is the International OCD Foundation Provider Directory.

I am able to provide consultations to families who live in California, Utah, Idaho, Arizona, Texas, Louisiana and Florida, and you can email me at claire@mountainhomeocd.com to schedule.